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I hope you are keeping well and that your coaching practice is flourishing.

One of the major changes the ICF has introduced in their updated core competencies is the emphasis on the partnership between the coach and the client – in fact, the requirement in many of the core competencies is that the “coach partners with the client” in order to demonstrate that competency.

Just what does “partnering” mean?

One of the things I have noticed in my own coaching journey (even life journey) and in my mentor coaching programs is that when we are new to coaching (or pre-adult in life), we tend to be fairly egocentric – we are looking inside ourselves for the next question, the next step in our process. As we become more experienced (often aided by accreditation requirements and further learning), our approach becomes more client-centric (what is in their best interests?) and even world-centric (what is best for the client ans the system they find themselves in?). In other words, it’s a journey from not partnering to fully partnering.

A useful, but seemingly little-known, concept I came across some time ago – and which I believe is useful for coaches when partnering with their clients (and in all relationships) – is the notion of RQ or relationship intelligence. Any relationship consists of the individual or individuals involved as well as a “transcendent third entity” and it is that latter entity that, if present, creates a powerful relationship and, if absent, creates problems in the relationship.

Put another way, whilst our focus within a relationship is on the individual – either ego- or other-centrically – problems in the relationship are likely to arise sooner or later. However, to the extent that the individual members of the relationship are focused on the relationship, and its purpose, the relationship is likely to be nurtured and consequently grow.

In coaching terms, then, as coaches we partner best with our client when we focus on the purpose of our coaching relationship, that transcendent third entity that enables non-judgemental awareness, curiosity and growth for both coach and client.

So, this month, try focusing on your relationships, be they personal, work or coaching, as the transcendent third entity and notice what happens. I’d be really interested in your coaching observations so please email them to

Until next time!

Kind regards






If you’d like to learn how to create powerful session goals for your clients that help transform their lives, please click on this link to my diary to set up this free chat and learn more about how this works.



 I have two Mentor Coaching Programmes starting towards the end of October. If you would like to:

  • master your coaching skills or
  • successfully prepare for your next accreditation or
  • earn 19 CCE points for your CPD

join me for a virtual coffee chat using this link and we can explore whether this is for you.



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