In Monday Memo

This week’s focus:

How much of what others say do we chuck?

It always strikes me as one of life’s great ironies that we are socialized to hold strong opinions to the extent that we bust a gut to make ourselves right and others wrong.

As a former attorney, some of my friends will be saying that this is rich coming from me, but we seem to spend an inordinate amount of time and effort trying to get our point made whilst our adversary (friend, colleague, lover) is trying as desperately to make theirs – and both sides walk out feeling unheard, and even not valued.

And even when we do purport to listen, just how much do we accept and how much do we dismiss or chuck? The people I work with say they chuck a whole lot more than they accept. Interesting that, isn’t it. I mean do others speak a whole lot more trash than we (think we) do? And wouldn’t we like others to filter in what we are saying, rather than filtering it out like we do?

Well, I guess the only way we can help them to do that is to be really interested – no, curious – about what they are saying, what they feel about what they are saying, the potential of what they are saying and, in fact, the potential that they hold as people. In fact, listen like a sponge!

Maybe if we did that we would get a whole lot more out of what others say – and some may even return the compliment!

Monday Morning Perspective: “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” – Stephen R. Covey

Kind regards,



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